what makes the day

It's funny what makes Christmas "Christmas" to me.  I just discovered a few things today about it since this wasn't a regular one for us.  It didn't feel very Christmasy overall, but the lack of some things and the presence of others, and how they made me feel, were interesting.

First of all, the buildup to Christmas.  I'm kind of amazed at how, even though my family knew we weren't going to be opening presents until early January, we all still succumbed to the pressure & buildup.  Christmas is such a cultural and collective thing; we could hardly not feel some anxiety as the day neared.  It made the buildup stand out to me much more strongly, since we didn't have the sense of immediate payoff from it today.  (And I don't mean "payoff" in the material sense...just excitement and a sense of having celebrated fully.)

Then, the not-getting-presents today.  Not so weird at all!  I think the weird thing was not spending the time and attention together that we would have with presents.  As much as I enjoy getting new things (one of which I'm particularly excited about-- I did get one gift today!  Thank you!), I think it's the time we spend lavishing on each other, waiting in anticipation for a present to be opened, feeling selflessly happy when it's well received, hugging and exclaiming and just generally appreciating each other, that makes the holiday so fulfilling.

Also, I missed my gol-dang brother.  Come home already!  It was funny how it felt so much more like Christmas once we were all on the phone together.  I didn't expect that either.

Finally, doing some serving.  We delivered meals to a few families today through a program run by Village Pres.  The delivering was rather difficult due to some address problems, but it felt by the way it all came together that that was exactly how it was supposed to be.  My favorite part, again unexpected, was delivering hugs.

I'm thankful for today.  For the time with my parents, for the meal we had on our plates, and for the Christmas we're going to have in a few weeks, all together.  Life's changing a lot lately, and I'm grateful for the heightened sense of appreciation that change makes.  It's good.

Merry Christmas!