stressumé?

I'm not going to win any editorial awards with that title.

I had forgotten how much writing a resume* sucks. Committing yourself to paper, straining to summarize how you've spent the last so-many months, years -- the bullet points, the font sizes, the dates, the self-branding. The working-alongside-talented-designers-so-long-I'd-be-loath-to-pass-my-Word-doc-under-their-gaze. Ugh. And the painful gap I feel between what I need to represent with confidence...and what I fear and experience within my skin on a daily basis.

Because we all know this is what a resumé-reader wants to see:

Motivated.

Multi-tasker.

Action-oriented.

(Type A.)

Adaptable.

Achievement-hungry.

Constant communicator.

(Automaton.)

Collaborative.

Creative.

Systems expert.

(Superhuman.)

Hyper-Involved,

Always-Eager

Production Machine.

(Not me.)

Here's what my brain is crying out:

Privately lazy.

Trust-hungry.

Sometimes-skeptic.

(Disclaimers.)

Talented (but tired of having to prove it).

Stomach ties in knots on a regular basis.

Eager to please.

Introvert.

Seeks consensus.

Answers opportunity (or tries to...or thinks she should...).

Good speller.

Bad liar.

Meek and bossy.

Agreeable and opinionated.

Distractible.

Human.

Ah well. These are the agreed-upon forms we live in -- and they have their place and their point. I just like acknowledging that "human" element-- the larger form we live in. It's got dimensions those resumés ain't never even imagined.

What would you put on your (human) resumé? Not that you have to apply for the job... That's already taken care of. :)

*(This is for an internal position that came available...not changing companies, folks.)